


cum machine broke

by Yikes (CoralFlower)



Category: Dream Team (Video Blogging RPF), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Ambiguously Trans Character, Anal Sex, Author Projecting onto Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), Bottom GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF), Depression, Established Relationship, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Orgasm Denial, SSRIs, Self-Indulgent, Smut, Top Clay | Dream (Video Blogging RPF), anorgasmia, antidepressants, ive been a good boy insert simp emoji, pwease mr zoloft sir may i have an orgasm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-02
Updated: 2020-07-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 23:01:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,842
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25024324
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoralFlower/pseuds/Yikes
Summary: Dream starts taking antidepressants and has to deal with the side effects. You can read George as cis or trans, whichever floats your boat. I made a point of not specifying.-"So you wouldn't still love me if I was a worm, but you would still love me if my dick was broken.""Go the fuck to sleep, Dream.""I'm just wondering where the line is."
Relationships: Clay | Dream/GeorgeNotFound (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 37
Kudos: 988
Collections: MCYT





	1. Chapter 1

The realisation comes (pun resented) in what can only be described as a _bruh moment_.

"George," Dream says, pushing him gently away. "George, I don't think I can come."

George frowns. He looks like he's hurt and hiding it.

"What do you mean? I can--"

"No, I mean, I think the Zoloft fucked me up," Dream says bitterly. "You're doing perfect, don't get me wrong, it feels great and I keep thinking I'm about to come and then it just fucking evaporates like it was never even there to begin with. I don't feel like trying anymore, you're tired, I just wanna-- I just want to cuddle and think about something else."

Dream is tearing up by the end of his sentence.

"The Zoloft-- you mean your antidepressant? It can do that?"

George's eyes are wide, and Dream cringes, wrapping his arms around himself and pulling back.

"Y-yeah, the, um, the paper they gave me with it said so. Come on, man, where's your confidence, you know this isn't you. Remember when you made me cream my pants the first time we tried to fuck?"

George snorts, face cracking into an uncertain smile.

"Yeah. Yeah, I-- I dunno, I noticed you were having some issues tonight."

"I just can't believe it's already happening," Dream complains, pulling his legs up onto the bed and laying down. "Come up here, George."

"Yeah, how many of those pills have you taken again so far?" George asks as he climbs over Dream to hug him from behind.

"Two!" Dream exclaims, crossing his arms and pouting. "This is stupid, this is literally bullshit. Bull. Shit. They haven't even started working yet."

"Just stop taking them, then."

Dream sighs, pulling George's arms further around himself.

"I'm supposed to ask my idiot doctor first. I shouldn't say that, he's a very smart man. But I'm so mad!"

"Well, you can call him in the morning, he'll probably have something else you can take or something." George says.

"More fucking pills!" Dream exclaims. "I'm so _tired_ of pills, George."

"What about pill-ows?" George says, and Dream chuckles, not expecting it. "No, seriously, will you be able to sleep, Dream?"

Dream heaves a sigh.

"I don't think so," he says, pouting. "I'm not gonna be able to get my mind off this. What if my dick is broken permanently?"

George giggles softly, and Dream shoves an elbow directly backwards into his stomach.

"Ow!"

"Please take this seriously," he says.

"If your dick is broken forever I'll still love you, I promise," George says. "I mean, you had fun tonight before you realised you couldn't come, so you should still be able to have a good time without coming, as long as you can go into it without any expectations."

Dream laughs mirthlessly.

"Ah, so I should lower my expectations enough that _anything_ will be enjoyable, thanks George."

"Well I'm just saying..."

Dream sighs softly, relaxing his shoulders and pressing back against George, snuggling into his embrace.

"No, that-- that did help me feel better. Thanks, George."

"No problem."

Twenty minutes later, Dream wakes a nearly-sleeping George when he says,

"So you wouldn't still love me if I was a worm, but you would still love me if my dick was broken."

"Go the fuck to sleep, Dream."

"I'm just wondering where the line is," Dream says. "Would you still love me if I was a fish? Do I have to have a spine?"

"No, I wouldn't-- Dream, I was almost asleep!"

"What about a puppy?"

"Dream."

"A tree?"

" _Dream._ "

Dream bursts out laughing, and George sulks, holding his stupid loud annoying boyfriend close as he shuts his eyes. He's never gonna stop loving this idiot.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im living and loving (sarcasm) the orgasm free life rn so i wrote this to romanticise my hardship
> 
> honestly if i had someone to fuck i wouldnt mind so much. this is tmi tho LMAO
> 
> i called my doctor today and got buspirone prescribed (its supposed to be an anxiety med but it can also let you have sexy fun while ur on an SSRI) so hopefully ill regain my normal state of being soon lol. until then, no mutual orgasms in my smut!!! at least one person has to not come! because im suffering and i said so!
> 
> im gonna reread this note in a year and cringe but for realsies i hope that me talking frankly about this helps somebody feel more comfortable with themself. even once i get orgasm rights back ill probably keep writing anorgasmic characters every once in a while, cus now that i know the agony of every single smut fic involving orgasm as the main goal, i cant just leave my anorgasmic homies high and dry.
> 
> so yeah. i made sure to put some positivity into this one for yall, though i will warn you its kinda bittersweet and may not be the comfiest or most relatable read if youve been anorgasmic your whole life. i have the luxury of not really needing to work through my anger and shame about the current state of my body, because i can rely on it eventually changing. a lot of people dont, and i just think i have a responsibility to be mindful of that, so even if id like to curse and rage and condemn the very concept of anorgasmia, i dont think i should do that in a fic that i promised was fluffy. at least not without putting in positives as well.
> 
> btw you can read george as cis or trans in this, i made it ambiguous on purpose

They still fuck, is the thing. They still fuck, because Dream still gets horny, and he has no clue how long that'll last if his doctor can't figure out any way to fix this, so he wants to fuck while he can. He's still on the Zoloft, because switching meds seems like a giant hassle and because he kind of just wants to get an idea of whether SSRIs will even work for him.

And he still can't fucking come.

"Dream-- yes, there-- oh, _fuck_."

Actually, it's kind of convenient at times. Without the Zoloft, he'd be struggling to hold it together. Without the Zoloft, he'd let George down.

They've been going at it for over an hour, and Dream is still hard, basking bitterly in the snugness of George's walls and watching his boyfriend's face. The sensation washes over him like waves on a shore, constantly flowing and changing, never building up to a tsunami or even enough for high tide.

And it's okay. Not great compared to the remembered sensation of actually coming, but--

George is so pretty beneath him, so irresistible with the way his legs are wrapped around Dream's waist, and so Dream really can't complain. It's kind of awesome, honestly. He isn't trying to get anywhere, he doesn't have to hold the pleasure back mentally so he won't come too soon. He can just watch George, and fuck him, and notice every single little hot thing about the moment without having to worry it'll push him over the edge.

"Good, Dream, that's perfect," George says, and Dream ducks his head, leaning down into George's arms, marvelling at how perfectly his hands fit around George's waist. George tilts his hips up, ordering Dream to fuck him harder, which makes Dream inwardly wonder when he turned into a service top.

"You're so beautiful," Dream murmurs. "You feel so good around me, George, I can't believe I--" Dream swallows the words he almost said and shakes his head. No point being salty about it. "Do you feel good?"

George nods, pulling Dream into a kiss. Their teeth clash for a moment because Dream wasn't ready for it, but then it turns sweet, and Dream knows he can't come right now, but this almost feels like it, soaring happiness lighting up bright like neon in his brain.

_Almost, almost, almost-- Dream is so tired of almost._

"I'm close," George murmurs against Dream's lips as the kiss slows to a stop. He sounds apologetic.

"How can I take you there?" Dream asks, ignoring the barely-there pity in George's voice because it makes him uncomfortable.

"Talk to me, touch me," George demands, one hand sneaking into Dream's hair to grab on and tug. Dream groans helplessly as sensation jolts through him and doesn't go anywhere, and he knows he would have come just then if he could. "Tell me-- how you feel? Is that okay?"

Dream's breath stutters on the way in. He feels like a deer in the headlights as he looks at George, licks his lips, and swallows.

"Um..." He slides his right hand from George's hip, across his stomach to put a gentle hand on him. He gets to watch the effects. George clenches down hard and Dream mourns yet another orgasm that didn't even bother to begin. "I think I'm grieving."

He chuckles ruefully, breathlessly.

"Damn," George says, eyes widening slightly. "You don't have to talk about--"

"I want to," Dream says, bracing his free arm against the bed by George's head to hold himself up better. "It's like... Honestly, it lets me focus on you the way I always try to do, but never quite get right. I'm trying to think about that aspect instead of the rest of it."

"Mm," George says, grip tightening in Dream's hair. "Tell me more about that."

"It still feels so good to fuck you, George," Dream whispers, because he feels like it's a whispery thing to say, a thing that doesn't want to be spoken too loudly. George hums, bucking his hips, and Dream realises that he just left his hand still after he touched George. He starts moving it the way George likes, the way George showed him so long ago. "You're marvelous. Honestly, I'm lucky."

"Dream that's _perfect_ \-- yes, exactly like that. Keep talking."

"I'm lucky I get to appreciate you," Dream murmurs. "So hot for me, so tight. I used to have to tune out half the things you do, the noises you make... Just so I wouldn't come right away. But I get to have all of it now. I can watch your back arch without worrying. I can listen so closely to the way you grunt when I hit your sweet spot--" (George lets out a desperate grunt) "--yeah, like that-- and I never have to stop. I can keep going, I can keep making you feel good, George."

George bites his lip, eyelids fluttering.

"I'm close, Dream," he says. "I'm really close."

Dream adds some pressure, and a bit of a twist. George's breath gets shallower.

"I keep thinking," Dream continues, "is this what guys with good stamina get every time they fuck? It's good in a totally different way from coming, and I won't pretend I'd be fine if I never came again, but-- honestly, I'm glad I got to experience this with you. This is amazing. _You_ are _amazing_ , George."

"Oh," George says, arching his back. He's getting breathy now, and Dream knows this is it. "Fuck me through it, alright?"

"Yeah," is all Dream can say as George begins to shudder, clenching down hard around Dream's cock.

"Dream," George groans. His hips buck hard, thighs squeezing Dream's waist. "Ah, fuck, that feels so-- _yes_ , Dream. Perfect, you're--"

He cuts himself off, going quiet even as his mouth falls open and his eyes squeeze shut. His hips are bucking, and he's holding on so tight, pulling Dream's hair.

Dream is a little bit jealous.

"I love you," George says. "Ah, okay, too much."

He reaches down to push Dream's hand away, but Dream lets go before George can get there. He pulls out slowly, and George pants in relief, limbs spread out across the bed, just breathing.

"I love you too," Dream says.

"Can you turn the fan on?" George asks.

Dream bites his lip, spots an old magazine on the nightstand, and chucks it at the lightswitch.

It hits the wall with a crash, and George sits up on his elbows with a flinch. And yeah, it smacked the switch, but Dream isn't sure it worked.

"What was--"

Above their heads, the fan starts to spin, and Dream whoops, throwing his arms up in the air.

"Hahaha, let's goooo!"

He lets himself fall sideways in a heap beside George, rolling onto his back as well to get the full impact of the fan.

"Dream, did you throw something at it?"

"Yep!" Dream says, grinning, trying not to pay attention to his dick, which has barely even softened. "I--"

"Why couldn't you just get up?"

"Didn't feel like it," Dream says, turning onto his side to smirk at George, who rolls his eyes and elbows him so gently Dream knows he doesn't mean it.

"You're such a shit," George says, and Dream grins.

"Yeah, but you love me anyway."

And George grumbles, but he doesn't deny it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> comment and tell me what you thought. id especially love to hear from anorgasmic people. did i do okay? did i use any tropes you hate? let me know and ill strive to improve in the future.


End file.
